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Maelstrom by ~Maelstromgirl:iconMaelstromgirl:

Categories Literature > Prose > Fiction > Fantasy


Melting into the fire.
Oblivion drawing ever nearer.
Feel the ice growing inside.
Turrents of airs rushing past.
The song in my ears becoming clearer and ever brighter.
Symphonies of colour blending into one and separating out again.
Dancing clouds moving in harmony.
The wind drawing out my existence.
Passion raging like a cooped up demon dying to be free.
Every sense alive and open to every possibility.
The life in every pore.
Exploding in a vision of stars.
Soul flying on the wind to the deep blue of the sky.
It is over.
The end has come.
The end is now.
©2005-2009 ~Maelstromgirl
:iconmaelstromgirl:

Author's Comments

Well I just wanted to write this. No particular reasoning behind it.

Comments


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:iconnyctophiliac:
~nyctophiliac Dec 16, 2005, 11:04:37 AM
It's very good, but I'm a little unsure ... is it poetry or prose? I read the first few lines on the browse feature and it didn't show the breaks ... it works as either.

I like this ... the imagery's really good, especially the fire in the first line and ice in the third ... although 'couped' should be 'cooped' and 'maelstrom' should be 'malestrom'. And the end line ... I think perhaps that just needs a little tweak. Due to the wealth of language provided earlier in the piece, the term 'it' might confuse a few people (I was baffled at first). It could be easily improved, to something such as, 'the end is now', to tie in with the penultimate.
:iconmaelstromgirl:
~Maelstromgirl Dec 16, 2005, 12:56:16 PM
Well my categories tend to be a little odd so it could be poetry or prose. I hadn't planned what to write so I didn't know what it would end up like, so i just picked prose.

Imagery is something I seem to do well on, although it appears my spelling has gone a little wrong, although I shall leave maelstrom as it is as that is how it is spelt on my name.

I like "the end is now", it makes it clearer. I suppose what makes sense to me isn't necessarily clear to everyone else. Thanks for the comments anyway, I shall go and review it!

--
Bex

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
:iconmetronomic:
~metronomic Dec 16, 2005, 2:05:13 PM
Wow...This I like. A lot. The imagery is so powerful and incredibly vivid, truly overflowing with 'life in every pore,' and then suddenly the last lines throw the entire piece into ironic contrast; the ultimate conclusion of all such vibrancy is oblivion.

--
Entering a universe of sanity and metronomic order with quite-mad coocoo newness...
:iconmaelstromgirl:
~Maelstromgirl Dec 16, 2005, 3:23:36 PM
Aww thank you that's so nice! :aww: It's quite odd I just felt inspired to write something, I didn't plan it all so it turned out rather well. However I don't think oblivion is necessarily a bad thing, if you've ever read Philip Pullman's The Amber Spyglass where the children free all the souls from a dull land of nothing, the sould dissolve into nothing in the air but become part of everything, seeing and being everywhere at once and it's beautiful. Or I think so anyway. And thanks again!

--
Bex

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
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